I Just Realized What Makes Me Bitter

February 20th, 2007 § 24

I just realized what makes me bitter–most of them I refused to admit to anyone (and to myself) before:

Monotony–being (helplessly) stuck in the middle of it, without any road signs to at least give a clue of what’s gona happen next. Facades–people judging you because of how you look and not because of what you’re worth (can you not hear the Little Prince’s little voice echoing? What’s essential is invisible to the eye). Unfair judgments–having given your best into something, but instead of getting a sense of fulfillment, criticisms and unappreciation gets back at you.

Monotony. Facades. Unfair judgments.

There was once a point in my life when these things were my motivations–my driving force to BE more, to DO more, and to PROVE to the world that there’s someone behind this shell who’s got potentials to be great, if only they would look closer. But now, it’s like I’m losing myself to the very things I hate. Like I’m watching myself succumb to these evils, and I’m too tired to fight them head on.

YM Status : Burn out (on a Tuesday, and at the age of 23) — is that normal?

Edit. First thing the next day, I took a friend’s advice and took stress tabs. Let’s see if this works.

Dear Younger Ones

February 10th, 2007 § 25

(Those of you who are ehem, “dying” to get out of college and “taste freedom”, and earn your own moolah, and get out of parental confines, etcetera.)

Let me just say, it’s a cruel world out here. You can never tell who to trust. And even if there are a few people you can trust around, the truth is, you’re on your own. You get to enjoy your own money, yes, but soon enough you’ll realize that you’re trapped in your own (rat)race, and no matter how big you earn, it will never be enough. Self fulfillment does not come everyday. Criticisms (and misjudgements) are staple. Appreciation is scarce.

If only you guys will listen and believe me, I shall keep reminding you that there’s no need to rush. Trust me, you DON’T want to rush. Do yourself a favor and enjoy your childhood. If you can’t enjoy it, then fight for it. Live one day at a time.

If you’re a kid and you have access to Barbie dolls and crayons and coloring books that you don’t have to buy for yourself because your parents give them to you generously, then play your heart out. If you’re a student and you can spend your afternoons eating isaw at Kalayaan, or hanging out at Sunken garden with a guitar, or cramming for your term paper; and you can go to school in torn jeans, old shirt, and worn-out chuck taylors, then don’t go thinking about pin-striped slacks and stilettos, and payslips, and business meetings, and your own condo unit without your parents around, and night outs after work. I tell you, and you must believe me, life out here is not as cool as we all thought it is.

Then again, I’ve been there. And I was one of them who did not want to listen. So go ahead, see for yourself. Hurry on with your life. Go find yourself a gold thread even, so you can pull the string everytime you want to rush time. Once you’re here, I’m sure, and I need not prove, you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

Hi, I'm "Riz of Pinkseo"

February 7th, 2007 § 8

When sites like this notice (even a gossip site whaddaheck), for a non-superstar like me, it’s overwhelming. Hehe.

The dearth of double-X chromosomes in this Ituloy Angsulong SEO hullabaloo is remarkable. While browsing through sites of those in the running towards being the Philippines’s next top blogger, the testosterone is just so palpable. I wonder why?

Shrewd, manipulative, calculating—women have traditionally been attributed these traits (ooh, that’s going to get me in trouble with feminazis). If that were true, then women would definitely do well in the realm of SEO (and that includes this Ituloy Angsulong competition!).

Speaking of girl power, there’s Riz of Pinkseo —I just love her Ituloy Angsulong site! (Mine is much more fabulous, of course. *muahaha*). Pink is the new blog. Her site theme screams girl power! But what I like most is that she has positioned herself as part of a minority and used the fact to give her site character.

Read in full.

Does that mean I really should take my boss’ advice and wear pink on awardings night? Gah. The contest is nearing its end. Please continue supporting Pinkseo’s Ituloy Angsulong contest bet. Yeboy. c”,)

The Last on that Starbucks Planner

February 2nd, 2007 § 3

The race (and the season) is over. Yesterday was the last day of collecting those little Starbucks stickers, and claiming the limited edition planners. Were you able to get yours?

As I was trying to clean my closet last night, I found my Starbucks planner lying underneath piles of bags, and cds, and clothes. Gah. So much for those overly priced Starbucks drinks. I barely touched my journal, I know, but I opened it anyway, and found this one (and only) entry I forgot I wrote on one of its pages.

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