There’s always something to remind me of those dreams — of flying out of this country and starting my career off from scratch in a place where I can be anyone I want to be because no one knows me.
There’s the KC Concepcion documentary about her life in Paris. Or Ala Parades‘ chronicles on their new life in the land of the Oz. Or this girl (let’s leave her anonymous hehe) whose blog I always lurk on, who went to England to take graduate studies, and eventually work. Or movies like Devil Wears Prada (okay, I just had to say that one). And the constant talk among friends about Sydney, Singapore, and New York. My heart beats doubletime every time I think of flying away, anxious because I feel like there’s something I have to do to pursue those dreams and I’m not doing anything about it because I’m too scared.
I turn 25 this year, and the constant desire for a change in environment, for an adventure, for something new, is just something I couldn’t deny even to myself. Sometimes I wonder if I just need a break, but I feel that I need more than just that. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. I love what I do. And God knows how thankful I am to be where I am at this point in my life.
It’s just that lately, my prayers involve a lot of, “please make me desire going out of this country less if this is not Your will for me” or “please make me bloom, regardless if I stay in this country or not.” You get what I’m saying?
Oh whoosh. I’m monologuing again. :) I guess all I’m trying to say is..
Watch me fly. Soon. Literally or figuratively, we’ll see. :)