Past Life

[Backtracked: Oh yay I have posts in my drafts folder, look! Why I didn’t publish this at the time I wrote it, I don’t know. So yeah, here’s something I wrote sometime in November when I was in Sydney. Hee.]

God does have a flair for drama. He paints the Makati skies with a breath-taking sunset just when you start complaining about how awful your boss or your day is. He shows you a 500-peso bill stuck in the backpocket of your jeans, just when you realize that sweldo is still several days away and you don’t have enough lunch money for the week.

And then He answers prayers just when you start thinking that He’s already closed all doors.

In the past four years, I’ve gone through all sorts of phases in this quest — from excitement, anticipation,  and “this is it” moments; to frustration and discouragement; even to the point of giving up.

But hey, Hillsong happened to me last night [November 16, that is]. And if you followed my blogs from day one, you’d know how much this means to me.

How great, how great is our God, indeed.

[Until we meet again, Hills. See ya soon.]

I miss a lot of things. I miss blogging what’s on my mind without worrying if someone will think that my posts are too icky or too unprofessional. (Fine, I miss blogging, period.) I miss pasting receipts, candy wrappers, and movie tickets on my journal, and trying to record moments in writing so I could easily look back.

I miss wandering aimlessly in a foreign place, getting lost, and figuring out my way back by counting hotdog stands. I miss listening to the sounds of a busy subway, and watching people walk their dogs in Central Park. I miss enjoying the sight a *real* cruise ship, and watching the sun set over Darling Harbor while munching on fish and chips with people you love. I miss taking pictures of everything and nothing in particular, and spending hours post-processing my shots.

And then sometimes, I miss myself. Which I used to think was bad. But now, in the course of missing myself, this whole picture of who I *really* am, and who I want to be becomes even more clear in my head.

Icky, all of this, sure. But hey, I’m not scared to be myself anymore. I’m 25 and life’s too short to worry about what other people think. From now on, that’s who I’m going to be — myself. And let me start by being reacquainted with the things I miss.

Oh hai, 2009. I think you and I are going to be good friends. I’m excited to get to know you. :)

At least that’s what my five year old nephew, Jay, said.

Alignment of the Moon, Venus, and Jupiter over Sydney skies, 12.02.08

Jay: Tita Rhiza, you know why the moon is sad?
Riz: No. Why?
Jay: Because you’re leaving tomorrow.

I think I’m gona cry. :(

P.S. But then I heard that it’s smiling over Manila skies. Get the picture? :P

I’m gona crash anytime soon *yaaawn*, even though I slept about 6 hours out of the 8 hour trip from MNL to SYD. I originally planned to work on some reports in the plane. Fifteen minutes through it, however, I started to feel dizzy so I decided to take the much needed hibernation instead. (I luuuv it!)

Anywayyy, I’m finally here in Sydney! Woot!

And what better Welcome Committee there is than Jonah, my nephew-slash-godson, who was running and jumping around the Arrival Terminal of the Kingsford Smith Airport when I checked out. (Not that he was excited to see me, haha. I’m sure he barely recognized his Ninang Riz, and was more excited about the huge playground he could run around in).

A lot has happened in the past 24 hours. Every now and then (say, while watching the sunset from the window seat of the plane, or pushing my trolley to the next check-in counter, or taking photos of the “Welcome to Sydney” banners hanging all over the terminal), I’d look back to 4 years ago when I first asked God to send me to this place. I remember all those blogs I posted here and there, documenting each prayer that was answered — even the ones that were not — which ultimately brought me here. Truth be told, Sydney was the first foreign place I ever took interest in. I fell in love with the idea of Sydney long before I wanted to see Singapore or New York or London.

What do you know, I’m here now. Not in the way I expected or hoped or imagined. But it’s actually even better, come to think of it. Ergo, the ultimate reflection of the day has got to be this: Prayers get answered when you trust that God has a better plan for you than you have for yourself. Pretty basic you say, but it sure does work all the time. ;)

I’m ready to explore you, Sydney. Thanks for the warm welcome. :) Xoxo, Riz

And now that the obligatory I’m-here-in-Sydney post is done, I crash. Zzz.