When You Pray for Love

March 17th, 2008 Comments Off on When You Pray for Love

I can’t believe I’d be quoting from a highschool crush (eek, I know right) who’s now a good friend I can occasionally talk to. I just can’t help but feel how much what he said makes sense, and how timely too, in a world where unbelief is staple and true love is hard to find.

When we pray for love, He doesn’t zap us with warm, fuzzy feelings, He gives us the opportunity to love. And I think, that within that impossibly hard and unchangeable situation, there lies best place to cultivate the love that we are all looking for.

I guess there’s no better way I could rephrase those words. So I quote.

One Tree Hill's 100th Episode Up Next

March 15th, 2008 § 14

Warning to all non-OTH viewers, you’ll probably want to skip reading this one. To all OTH viewers, don’t worry, no spoilers. :)

So I’m averaging barely 4 hours of sleep a day the whole week. I have two wedding album layouts on queue, not to mention that letter that my Mom’s asked me to do, and a bunch of deadlines for some freelance projects. But here’s how my Friday night went: spent the first few hours over an undeserved shopping spree with my over-used credit card, and, as soon as I got home, spent the last two hours watching the last two One Tree Hill episodes that I missed.

One Tree Hill, Season 5

As if that’s not enough, I wasted away a few more hours searching about what’s gona happen in the next episode, which, apparently, is One Tree Hill’s 100th. And now I blog about it too. (Loser, I know!) Ergo, I come to a point of surrender, acknowledging that I should probably just get this confession over and done with so I could start helping myself to go back to my responsibilities: I’m hooked. And let me just say I’m relieved that OTH is not affected by the writers’ boycott, or else I’d be having major dilemmas on how to squeeze One Tree Hill, Grey’s Anatomy, and Heroes in my schedule. (GA and Heroes are relaunching in May, I hear.)

I’m surprised with how my emotions were stirred while watching my much-awaited downloads tonight. It’s just a friggin show, I know right. But while they are actors — who, I should add, have so darn well improved through the years — and while this is just a very well-plotted fiction, my attachment to the reality of love, betrayal, friendship, quarter-life, make-or-break career decisions, the existence of people you’d love to hate, and dealing with the consequences of the past, prevailed. Good job, guys. Compared to the first four seasons, I can actually relate to what’s happening to these characters now.

OTH’s 100th episode next week! :)

So Nathan and Haley are still together when the season started, but of course someone has to add some conflict to the oh-so-solid love team. Lucas is still getting away with his impulsiveness, his smooth pick-up lines, and his over-all macho personality that is just too good to be true. I mean, how can someone who managed to jump from one relationship to another, impulsively offered marriage to two women, kissed his ex-girlfriend and proposed to his present girlfriend all in a span of an hour, and ruined friendships along the way, still be portrayed as someone gentle, and sensitive, and kindhearted? (Don’t get me wrong, I like Lucas. His character is just soo.. confusing sometimes.)

And then there’s Brooke, who still happens to be my most favorite character of all. She’s found success in her career, and has learned to be sensitive and generous to anyone who needs help. She’s still bubbly and playful and charming, lighting up the room wherever she goes. (Confession, I still want her and Lucas to end up together haha). I love her front-act confidence, and the fact that underneath “the clothes”, she’s scared, and unsure, and just wanting to be rescued like any other girl more than anything.

Brooke and Jaime, my most fave characters. :)

Finally, I love how they added Jamie’s cute little character in the story. It’s as if they placed this adorable kid in the midst of everyone as a witness to all their semi-adult drama, so we can smile after wanting to pull Carrie’s hair off, or as your heart breaks for Peyton who’s lost the love of her life.

So yeah. Anyway. I can’t wait to watch the 100th episode. Lucas and Lindsey are getting married, and I can’t wait to find out if it’s REALLY going to happen.

Dreading March 26

March 11th, 2008 § 7

One of the things my Mom “assigned” me to do following Daddy’s death was to write a short letter of thanks in behalf of our family to everyone who was/is there with us throughout this whole ordeal. Mom would always tell me that I’m the writer in the family, that I’m the best person to do it, or sometimes, in her desperate attempts to make me move, she would make bola and tell me that Daddy would have wanted me to do it more than anyone in the world. It has been my greatest challenge since.

It’s gonna be Dad’s first death anniversary on the 26th, and I still haven’t come up with anything. Mom has been so patient with me, even though I know that she’s starting to get frustrated about not being able to at least give a thank you card to everyone after all these months.

It’s just that.. everytime I try to sit down to work on it, I always end up staring at a blank sheet of paper, or a blank text file, and a few minutes later, I’d start tearing up again. I’ve ran out of excuses to explain to Mom why I still haven’t come up with what she’s asking for. I know I could easily just string together words of appreciation, layout them together with a photo of my Dad, print, and send. But it’s difficult, because no amount of words is enough to thank everyone who was part of my Dad’s life and ministry. *Sigh* I’m not just being lazy. I’ve been stalling, I know right, but only because the mere thought of working on THAT letter relieves the pain of our loss, and it’s as if I have to accept over again that Dad’s already gone.

I’m turning 25 in a few months, but I still haven’t stopped feeling like still being too young to lose a father. I guess I’ll never stop feeling like that. Dad’s early death may have forced me to grow up, but deep inside I will always be that little girl who’d give anything to twirl around her Daddy in circles again. Ugh, it’s just too frustrating sometimes. I mean, why do other twentyfiveyearolds get to share their lives with their Dads and I don’t? *More sighs* Okai, I stop whining now.

So yeah, March 26 is just around the corner, and I’m starting to have more and more thoughts about Daddy again. And I have no more excuse to set aside writing that thank you letter now. I owe it to my Mom. I know how important that is to her.

But mostly, I owe it to Daddy. Since he didn’t get to have that last chance to thank all those people who were part of his life, I want to do it for him with all my heart.

Where am I?

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