Love Letter

May 21st, 2007 § 21

Dear Daddy,

Hi! I didn’t cry today! Proud of me? :) Er, except for that one time when Ninong Dave prayed over lunch, and, well, I’m sure you heard his prayer (thanking God for another year, and for all those people He brought into my life, and all the blessings, and well, the rest I won’t blog anymore because they’re un-bloggable and of course you already know them hehe). Did you see how all of us were giggling while we prayed? Was God laughing too when He was listening to us? :D So okay, I cried a bit there. But I don’t think that should even be considered as “crying” because I was just teary-eyed. You saw how I was able to hold the tears back and dry my eyes before everyone else opened theirs? Pretty clever huh. :)

I miss you, Daddy, today most especially. This morning, I woke up and found my mobile blinking with 27 text messages, waiting to be opened. 27, Daddy, 27!! You see how many people remembered? Not counting pa those who texted before I fell sleep the night before, and those who texted and called during the day! I am soo loved. But as I went through the texts and replied to each of them one after the other, I couldn’t help but wish I received a text message from you too. I can imagine it now. It would just be the usual, and you’d still be sending it even though you were just in the other room, or even when you already personally greeted me. It would simply say “hapy bday nak! luv u!“. But it would mean the world to me.

Did you see when I made that wish that it would rain on my birthday? It did! It rained, Daddy! God must really love me, huh? :) And the rain was just right too. It wasn’t just drizzling, and it wasn’t stormy either — it was just enough to send us back indoors and sit by the glass window and watch the raindrops fall down from the sky to the leaves, to the grass, to the window sill. And when the sun started to shine again, the sky was painted with lovely hues of pink and orange, as if it was designed especially for me. You would have enjoyed a day of rest and relaxation at Fontana with us, Dad! And the food, and the coffee (on a rainy day), and the street badminton session, and the pink clouds.

Were you mad that I drove your car when Mom was sleeping? Did you watch me? Were you scared that I would smash it right to the wall or to another car? I know you didn’t want us to drive your car Daddy, hehe, sorry! But you see, I got it back in one piece! Not a single scratch, promise! All parts still intact. :) Don’t worry, Dad, I’m a grown up now. Of course I’m still your little girl, I’ll always be, but I’m 24 now. Your car’s safe with me. And don’t worry, it’s still Mom’s. But.. can I borrow it once in a while? :) The other car’s NOT so fun to drive around with anymore eh. :P

God’s blessed me with a wonderful life, Daddy. And He has done it wonderfully through you and Mom. Thanks for being the best Dad all 23 years of my life, and even until now. We’re back in Caloocan now, and I’m on your side of the bed, beside Mom. She’s sleeping already, and it’s raining again. She’s amazing, Daddy. She’s doing her best to be strong for me, for us. I don’t want her to see me cry anymore. Specially not on my birthday. She wants me to be happy today, more than anything.

But I can’t hold back the tears anymore, Daddy. I miss you. It breaks my heart that I won’t get to spend my birthdays with you ever again. I wish I could go back to those days when life was simpler. When you were there to tell me bedtime stories and tuck me in at night, and drive me to school in the mornings, and buy me ice cream on my birthdays, and ground me when I get home late, or scold me when I mess up, and tell me you love me and that you’re proud of me even when I make mistakes. I’m scared to be 24 without you, Daddy.

But I know that even if you’re up there already, you’re looking down on me and watching me whenever you can. And I know that if you could, you’d give me a big hug right now, and wipe my tears away, and tell me everything’s going to be alright. And you’d whisper to me, “Be still, sweetie, and know that He is God. Just love Him well and everything will be well..

Thank you, Daddy. I’m 24 now but I’m still your little girl. Watch me, Daddy. I’m going to make you proud of me.

I love you.

♥, Riz

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