June 26th, 2009 Comments Off on Detaching myself from Guitarchic
I knew this was going to happen anytime soon.
I started blogging somewhere else.
Meanwhile, I don’t have the heart to close this site down. I have decided to not perform any 301-redirects or import/export any XML file. All the posts I made from August 2006 to June 2009 shall remain in this blog (in the same way that my other older blogs are still around somewhere.)
Besides, this site is still earning, not a lot, but enough to allow me to have my occasional online splurges. Maybe I’d still update this with some sponsored posts once in a while, too.
But as for the girl who vowed to wear her heart on her sleeve, she’s found a new place to fill with her icky thoughts now. And, if you know me, the new URL is not that hard to find. (Not that you’d want to find it.)
It was fun being guitarchic for a while. c”,)
June 25th, 2009 §
First of all, you should probably read the previous post before reading this, if you haven’t yet.
So. Yeah. Long post ahead.
Some people have been asking me how it’s like, you know, to have it. And since I have not seen any H1N1-positive around who had the courage to say something about it online, I thought, perhaps I could be the first. Besides, after last week’s post, I’m not sure how I can transition back to my giddy self in this blog without saying anything about this “hysteria” (if I may quote someone) that I caused.
* * *
Did you really have H1N1, Riz? Yes, I was tested positive for it.
» Read the rest of this entry «
June 13th, 2009 §
Funny how I begged out of a Hong Kong weekend with Joni and Maemae (and added another planet ticket to my growing list of wasted plane tickets) because I was feverish at the start of the week, and I didn’t want to run the risk of being exposed to AH1N1 when all along, I’ve been exposed to it already. Me, and my family, and some of my closest friends.
I knoooooow.
Dude. I know.
I know what you’re thinking, because I haven’t stopped thinking about it.
I could be carrying the virus too.
Ohmyalskdfja;lkdsjfalkdsfja;lkd.
(The DOH has been very particular about not disclosing the names of these patients, so for the sake of anonymity, let’s just call my friend “J”. I don’t mind being called “R” when it’s my turn to be in your story, k? K! LOL.)
» Read the rest of this entry «
May 27th, 2009 §
An entire weekend of bed rest, a late night visit to the isolation room of Medical City, and some cough syrup and antibiotics later, I think I’m finally starting to feel better. :)
It was kind of strange to be coughing like crazy on the week of my birthday, thank God for loved ones who didn’t mind being exposed to my virus to celebrate my 26th birthday with me. Now if the theme of my 25th birthday was good will and remembering childhood, this year, it was surprises — big and small, my entire week was just so full of them.
I didn’t think I’d enjoy being in the receiving end of surprises as I’ve often been the one staging the surprise, but for once, it actually felt good to have family and friends who went the extra mile to remind me (over again) that I am loved.
[You can stop reading here and jump 3 pharagraphs, because I’m gona blabber about people you don’t know next, and I can’t guarantee that you can relate.]
» Read the rest of this entry «
May 17th, 2009 §
I love beautiful accidents. Lately, I’m inspired by *imperfect* photographs, that’s why, even though I’ve been using a DSLR, I have a tendency to post-process my shots to look faded, and grainy, and blurred, and vintage-y and abstract. There’s just something beautiful about imperfection, don’t you think? :)
Take this photo for example.
30/365: Two hours to landing; hurry back to our timezone please?, originally uploaded by gchic.
There’s a lot of stories to this photo. (Look closely, that’s David Archuleta singing on stage when I took this, see the resemblance? lol, seriously). I just love the thought of having stories behind bokehs and colors and blurs.
Tonight, I went to watch David Cook and David Archuleta’s back-to-back concert here in Manila, by accident, just coz my cousin asked me last minute if I want to chaperon a bunch of teenager-nieces (who are crazy about Archie) with her. So I went, and I happened to have carried with me a defective Sony Cybershot (incidentally, I found out a few months ago that I was one of them lucky Sony customers to have in possession one of those defective Sony cameras that have abnormal internal vibration, how lucky serendipitous is that, IKR).
But what do you know, the internal vibration actually kinda worked to my advantage tonight. I loooove all the messy, overexposed, blurry shots I took, they looked as if they came out from a roll of film, or a lomographic camera. (Hah! No DSLR can ever take photos like those!) Which is probably how I’m gonna remember this night. Blurry, serendipitous, beautifully accidental (or accidentally beautiful, take your pick).
Sure, I’ll always remember that I got to do something really special with these people I love one summer night in 2009. Sure, I’ll remember Koreen’s 15th birthday, and Yna’s extended summer vacation here in Manila. Sure, I’ll remember David Cook and David Archuleta, and their anti-climactic concert ending (ughhh, we wanted more!), and how of-all-songs they chose NOT to sing Time of my Life, which would’ve made Yna and Koreen’s day. Well, make that a duet, then we can all die now.
And sure, I’ll remember losing my wallet sometime during intermission (ahhh, the awfuuul feeling of having lost all my important Identification cards!), calling my Mom to block my Citibank credit card in case my wallet was snatched, and, after taking chances at looking around and re-tracing the spots in the huuuuge MOA concert grounds that I passed by, wheeeww, getting my wallet back. Thank God!!
(To the angel who came to us to return my wallet, I never got the chance to know your name, BUT THANK YOU. You are heaven-sent. I hope somehow, you land in this page and see how grateful I am.)
Well, the rest of the events tonight will all probably be blurry. Like the photos in this album. Sorry you won’t see any of the two Davids there, but I think that’s kinda the point. The night was for Yna, Koreen, Hazel, Bea, Ninang Sweets and Moi. I guess it just helped that we had some beautiful soundtrack in the background while the night was happening. ♥
April 28th, 2009 §
I don’t know what happened to me but suddenly, the emo-era is back and I find myself seeing the most emo things in photographs, and song lyrics, and cloudless skies, and old, empty suitcases,
and this just a few hours ago, wounded fingers.
11/365 My soul is in the sky, originally uploaded by gchic.
[Some note: This blog post is totally unrelated to the photo, except that flying and crying are two things I don’t mind being caught dead doing. So yeah, the connection stops right here.]
Tonight, while cutting potatoes to cook for dinner (yes, I do cook my own dinner contrary to what most of you would think), I cut my left thumb with a kitchen knife. And it was an awfully deep cut because I happened to be cutting with force when the knife slid on my poor thumb.
Now I grew up to believe that the first thing to do when you get a cut is to make it bleed to get as much germs out. So I did, and for the first few seconds, I did it with such bravery I never thought I had. Soon enough, however, I succumbed to the sight of dripping blood and how the cut seemed to *not* stop bleeding.
And so I cried. I let out one nasty, hearty, hysterical cry. While my blood was dripping on my kitchen floor. With bloody tissue papers scattered everywhere from the kitchen floor to the bathroom sink.
If only my camera and tripod were set up, this would’ve been one helluva flickr-moment. And the title would be something that could pass up as suicidal.
But like I said over twitter and FB, while it hurt like crazy, and left me forever traumatized by the sight of potatoes and kitchen knives, I was kinda thankful to have an excuse to cry.
I honestly think I wasn’t just crying over my bloody finger. Now that I think about it, it somehow feels more like being able to find an excuse to release all these pent-up frustrations about life out of my chest. After all, I haven’t cried in a long while. (That is, not counting that night we stopped whatever it was we’re doing out of the blue, sat down, clasped our hands, and prayed.)
I feel awful blogging about this crazy encounter with a kitchen knife. Why does it feel so uncool to admit you’re a crybaby these days? (Isn’t it an accepted fact that crying is a sign of courage anymore?)
At the risk of being branded uncool, I just have to say.. it actually feels good to cry. Even if it costs some trauma, and a deep cut.
Hey, it’s okay to have some drama in your life, come on. You don’t have to pretend you’re tough (and happy, ugh) all the time.
* * *
Also, yes, I have this renewed habit of shifting from “I” to “we” in the middle of paragraphs, just because I think *we* is such a beautiful word.
April 18th, 2009 §
I must be crazy, thinking I can do this when I couldn’t even keep with posting a photo once a week.
But blaah, Click Happy Friday was sooo 10-years-ago, and things are different now. So I committed myself to Project 365 in hopes that after 365 days, my love affair with photography would have brought me somewhere.
So yay, come fly by flickr, you know, if twitter and facebook ain’t enough for you to stalk me. (Haha an invitation to stalk me? I’m sooo funny.)
April 14th, 2009 §
Hi. How’s your holy week? Mine involved a lot of sleeping and eating and taking photos and moving around the city and enjoying the empty roads (I’ve never seen a more spacious EDSA). It was a breeze travelling from Caloocan to Ortigas to Marikina to Manila and back, it probably took about 10 minutes from one destination to the next, when normally it would take more than an hour.
Where were you people last weekend? Thanks for fleeing the city and leaving us to enjoy it. Hee. :)
Anyway, I’m not going to rant today for a change, instead, I’m inviting you to go places with me, at least virtually. :)
Since we’re all back to our office cubicles now (or NOT, haha! I meant, YOU’re all back to your office cubicles, LOL), I’m inviting you to browse through your stock photos, find that one place you want to go back to this very minute, then put the words, “Let’s find some beautiful place to get lost” on it, then post it up.
As for me, my happy place is Wollongong, I’d give anything to be transported back to that place again RIGHT NOW, if only I could. How about you? Where’s your happy place? :)
BTW, those words are not mine, I’m not sure exactly who did it first, this is just me, responding to her invitation. :)
Tagging: Joni, Meemae, Aileen, Des, Liz, Ivy, and anyone who wants to do it. ♥
April 7th, 2009 §
I love reading heartful blogs. Those that, not just give you updates and maybe sell you stuff, but cut deep into your heart and actually make you feel something.
Like Msbeng‘s thoughts-out-loud. I once admitted to her that I lurk in her blog to read her devotions everytime I fail to do mine. *ack*
And Aileen‘s travels, most specially her journals about New York — they make me feel like being transported back to that place, as if I’m experiencing her journey myself.
I think Meemae is a better version of Last Leaf — more spunk, more guts, more heart. And if only Kuya Aleks blogged more, I’d be one avid and happy lurker.
I don’t know about these people but I seem to be having a hard time writing from the heart these days, “from the heart” being the operative phrase. My drafts folder has become a daily dump of frustrations. It’s often easy to start something off, but difficult to finish it.
I still can’t believe sometimes that I’m the same person who would blog her heart out there, unabashed. And not just blog! I’d fight and love and wear my heart on my sleeve and express myself like crazy, and I didn’t mind if people watched me.
So maybe those emo-days are over, and maybe life is less of a melodrama, but the funny thing is, I’m actually missing that younger version of me. Will I ever be like her again?
* * *
On another note, you know how it’s like in the movies when one encounters a near-death experience and life suddenly flashes before his eyes? In real life, those are much likely to happen not in your dying moments, but in times when you feel most alive. Or when you’re going through something you don’t get to go through everyday. Or when you’re in transit.
I remember the few times it happened to me.
I was on my flight to Los Angeles from New York, ending my 6-day NYC adventure. There aboard the plane, belted to my seat looking out to the window, a montage of images — of Broadway, Central Park, the subway, Staten Island ferry, South Street Sea Port, Times Square, Serendipity Cafe, Brooklyn bridge, and other places in New York I was fortunate enough to experience — reeled in slow motion in my head. It was as if my mind’s way of relishing the events one last time, boxing them up to make room for new ones.
And then it happened on the trip back home from Sydney. (But I won’t bore you with the details now because it’s a longer list. Heh.)
So it happened to me again just recently, with flashbacks that included almost three years worth of corporate drama. Has it been a month already since? (And yes, there’s a longer blog post about this somewhere in my drafts, boo.)
I didn’t think I’d ever have the courage to leave behind a comfort zone in exchange for something new and unsure, but yay I actually did it. And now, the excitement (and uncertainty) is killing me.
But hey, it’s time to chase dreams. And this time, I’m gonna let my heart lead the way. ♥
*image from Michelle Bower
March 26th, 2009 §
I had goosebumps unearthing this old back-up folder I forgot I had on my webhost containing old pictures of my Dad. It’s been two years, and while most people say that it gets better as time goes by, I know in my heart that I still miss him everyday — it never ends, sometimes even more than the day before.
So I’ll make it simple this year.
Love your dads — hug them, kiss them, tell them you love them, make them proud — while you still can. :) ♥