Past Life

This is why I don’t mind not having a TV in the condo (my roommate‘s taking it home with her). With Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Heroes, Prison Break, and now, Grey’s Anatomy downloads to keep me occupied, who needs the tube? (Spoilers ahead.)

So the Grey’s Anatomy gang is back, and let me just say the first two minutes made me grip my pillow a bit too tighter — not like they can really take Derek Shepherd’s character off the story.

McDreamy is still as dreamy as ever, Mark Sloan is still annoyingly but irresistibly cute, Meredith Grey is still made of emo (sometimes too emo haha), Miranda Bailey’s still my most favorite character, and Cristina Yang.. she has got to be my new idol. Her bitterness and cynicism FTW! (Take it from Yang, happily ever afters are not real, yeh.)

And then there’s George O’malley who’s more gay than ever (it’s too obvious to hide), making Lexie’s fascination of him a bit awkward. The team up of Callie Torres and Erica Han is still a bit icky but is taking an exciting turn, Alex Karev is still way too unpredictable, and Izzie Stevens is still the mushiest thing. I can’t think of a character that I didn’t like. Even the army surgeon (Cristina’s new love interest) is hawt!

I’ve always thought that GA script is made of win, that it’s the perfect blend of emo, cynicism, and medical psychobabble that I never thought I would consider to be interesting (I never really liked House or Scrubs or ER even when I tried).

GA’s bound to an exciting season, yay. And let me just say getting a glimpse of Denny towards the end of the episode made my heart skip a beat. Now there’s an idea. What if they let Izzie keep this imaginary love affair with his dead ex boyfriend in their own alternate universe, then we could all anticipate Denny’s surprise appearances throughout the season, yay. Too bad GA’s not like Heroes or Prison Break where they can twist the story around just to bring a dead character back. Hmm. No wait.

I’m officially hooked again.

Quotable quotes from Grey’s Anatomy after the jump.

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Someone in Pinoy Dream Academy sang this song last night, and while I wasn’t really paying attention who the singer was, I was simply drawn to the message of the song.

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again

Googling the few lines I remembered, I found out that the song was “Dance with My Father Again” by a certain Tamyra Gray. Clicked Limewire. Searched. Downloaded. In a few minutes I had the song looped in iTunes.

It probably goes without saying that there was a lot of tears involved while this was happening. Being alone in the condo/apartment which I just recently moved in to (will blog more about this in a bit), it was easier to just cry that time (than hold back), get it over and done with, and be ready to smile again for when my Mom and kuya picked me up.

Father’s Day has passed again. I didn’t anticipate that I would be sentimental about it, but just like last year, there was this inevitable longing to have someone to hug and say, “Happy Father’s Day, Daddy, I love you” to. The traditional Father’s Day tribute at church had once again made me hide my swollen eyes under my sunglasses.

There’s not a day that I don’t miss Daddy, and there are moments, such as celebrating Father’s Day, and hearing songs such as “Dance with my Father Again”, when the pain of (physically) losing him just tugs deep into my heart again. And I’m little by little learning to accept that this is how it’s going to be the rest of my life.

(Following Liz’s lead, however late.) Here’s for you, Dad. :)

Also, my one wish, encapsulated in the few lines of this song: “If I could steal one final glance, One final step, one final dance with him, I’d play a song that would never, ever end, How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again..”

Dance with my Father Again sung by Tamyra Gray | CLICK HERE

At the risk of making this blog look like a One Tree Hill fan blog, here’s another feel-good snapshot from Season 5, Episode 15 entitled Life is Short.

I can name two people who loved (will love) this scene. Three, if you count me. It’s nice to see Brooke and Lucas in a different level of friendship now, considering the failure of their on-screen and real-life love story. (Hmm, could it still be..?) Even more so, it’s nice to see how much these characters have grown, and how their lives have changed in a way that’s so familiar you can almost feel their pain, and struggles, and joy, even from the other side of the TV screen.

Lucas, Brooke, and Little Angie

Brooke: Do you ever want to go back? I remember being sixteen, and everything just seemed much easier. Would you do it differently?

Lucas: I’d try to appreciate the things I took for granted. But I think we have to go through all these stuff you know, to get to the places we want to be.

“Sometimes when you’re young, you think nothing can hurt you.. it’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you, you have your big plans — to find your perfect match, the one that completes you. But as you get older, you realize that it’s not always that easy.” Well, there goes Lucas Scott’s VO for you.

It reminded me of that open letter I blogged more than a year ago. (How bitter can my bachelorette life be! Heh!) Don’t get me wrong, I’m turning quarter-of-a-hundred in a few weeks, and I actually love how this life is turning out to be, complexities and all.

But it’s really just easier to WANT to grow up until you come to a point where everything just flies by too fast, and bills start piling up, and responsibilities start getting bigger and bigger. Suddenly, you hear your younger self lobbying inside you, complaining about still being too young to handle too much grown-up stuff. Missing what used to be, and wishing you’re back to that time when life is simpler, are just some of the things you expect to happen frequently as you grow older.

A while ago, we finished packing up our 7-month worth of mess. Tomorrow In a few hours, Ivy and I will be moving to a new apartment, and I’ll be saying buhbye to Aster after two melodramatic years together in the lalaland of Ortigas. (I’m gonna miss her terribly. *sniff*)

I’m starting to master the art of moving from one place of residence to another already. This is the fourth, in a span of about 2 years, and I’m hoping this move will be the last for me. Hopefully, the next one will involve packing up 20+ years worth of mess, and moving to a place big enough to build a family in.

Err. Okay, that may be a little too advanced to think about at this point but whatdahek. Grown-up stuff, you know.

Yes, this is a spoiler, if you haven’t seen Episode 14. :P

I held my breath long after the screen had gone blank. As of my most favorite One Tree Hill moments, Brooke Davis’ dream come true has, no doubt, climbed the charts. Definitely the perfect ending to an episode that was aptly titled, “What Do You Go Home To?” See, it inspired ME to blog, that must be something huh? :)

So.. Have you ever had that feeling? Waiting anxiously, almost impatiently, and finally getting the very thing you’ve dreamed of and fought for? That’s exactly what this Brooke moment was about.

Waiting, fidgeting, searching far and wide

Worried about what to do, scared to know how it would finally feel

And then.. the moment just happens. You watch your dream come closer and closer to your reach, and you brace yourself to finally grab it with arms wide open

..and you stare at it in awe, giving yourself mental slaps to see if it’s real and that you’re not just dreaming anymore. And when the reality of it finally sinks in, you know that every agonizing step towards that moment is worth it all.

It’s as if all fears are gone, and suddenly.. you forget that the rest of the world is happening around you, and all uncertainties are replaced with that one sweet moment of euphoria (see Brooke’s smile? Classic.)

..and everything just starts to make sense. You freeze that moment in your heart, make it linger for as long as you can, until you’re ready to carefully land your feet back on the ground.

Then the moment passes, and you go on living your life — only a little better, a little sweeter, a little lovelier this time.

Meh. I want to feel that moment again. No, I’m not getting a baby (although I’ve been sooo drawn to wanting one, no thanks to Sheila’s pregnancy; and having to hear Johann stories and the joys and perils of motherhood from Maia every single day).

It’s near. I can feel it. I’m coming home. One dream is going to come true for me real’ soon. :)

Warning to all non-OTH viewers, you’ll probably want to skip reading this one. To all OTH viewers, don’t worry, no spoilers. :)

So I’m averaging barely 4 hours of sleep a day the whole week. I have two wedding album layouts on queue, not to mention that letter that my Mom’s asked me to do, and a bunch of deadlines for some freelance projects. But here’s how my Friday night went: spent the first few hours over an undeserved shopping spree with my over-used credit card, and, as soon as I got home, spent the last two hours watching the last two One Tree Hill episodes that I missed.

One Tree Hill, Season 5

As if that’s not enough, I wasted away a few more hours searching about what’s gona happen in the next episode, which, apparently, is One Tree Hill’s 100th. And now I blog about it too. (Loser, I know!) Ergo, I come to a point of surrender, acknowledging that I should probably just get this confession over and done with so I could start helping myself to go back to my responsibilities: I’m hooked. And let me just say I’m relieved that OTH is not affected by the writers’ boycott, or else I’d be having major dilemmas on how to squeeze One Tree Hill, Grey’s Anatomy, and Heroes in my schedule. (GA and Heroes are relaunching in May, I hear.)

I’m surprised with how my emotions were stirred while watching my much-awaited downloads tonight. It’s just a friggin show, I know right. But while they are actors — who, I should add, have so darn well improved through the years — and while this is just a very well-plotted fiction, my attachment to the reality of love, betrayal, friendship, quarter-life, make-or-break career decisions, the existence of people you’d love to hate, and dealing with the consequences of the past, prevailed. Good job, guys. Compared to the first four seasons, I can actually relate to what’s happening to these characters now.

OTH’s 100th episode next week! :)

So Nathan and Haley are still together when the season started, but of course someone has to add some conflict to the oh-so-solid love team. Lucas is still getting away with his impulsiveness, his smooth pick-up lines, and his over-all macho personality that is just too good to be true. I mean, how can someone who managed to jump from one relationship to another, impulsively offered marriage to two women, kissed his ex-girlfriend and proposed to his present girlfriend all in a span of an hour, and ruined friendships along the way, still be portrayed as someone gentle, and sensitive, and kindhearted? (Don’t get me wrong, I like Lucas. His character is just soo.. confusing sometimes.)

And then there’s Brooke, who still happens to be my most favorite character of all. She’s found success in her career, and has learned to be sensitive and generous to anyone who needs help. She’s still bubbly and playful and charming, lighting up the room wherever she goes. (Confession, I still want her and Lucas to end up together haha). I love her front-act confidence, and the fact that underneath “the clothes”, she’s scared, and unsure, and just wanting to be rescued like any other girl more than anything.

Brooke and Jaime, my most fave characters. :)

Finally, I love how they added Jamie’s cute little character in the story. It’s as if they placed this adorable kid in the midst of everyone as a witness to all their semi-adult drama, so we can smile after wanting to pull Carrie’s hair off, or as your heart breaks for Peyton who’s lost the love of her life.

So yeah. Anyway. I can’t wait to watch the 100th episode. Lucas and Lindsey are getting married, and I can’t wait to find out if it’s REALLY going to happen.

It just so happened that I was watching Grey’s Anatomy Season 4‘s 5th episode Haunt You Everyday, on the day the whole country’s celebrating All Soul’s Day — the first one where I actually have a Dad (who passed away) to remember.

I’m loving George O’Malley’s character in Season 4. Anyway, this is, if not the most, one of the most moving speech in the episode for me.

I dont have kids, so i dont know how its like to lose a child but i do know how its like to lose a parent. Your daughter loved you, i saw her this morning, she was fighting for you. She’s fighting for your life. You’re her dad. You’re her dad, she won’t leave you, I know that. I also know that she would want you to have her heart. I would have given my dad my heart if i could. If I could have saved him, I would have given him my heart. ~ George

I felt what George said. I would have given mine to my Dad too, if I had the chance. But okay, let’s save the drama for a later post.

That is, if I get the courage to write one. Sigh.

I forgot what my blog niche is. Then again, I can’t remember ever defining a particular niche anyway. I already mentioned in my about page once or twice that my domain name does not equate to the content of this blog. So no, you’re not going to find any guitar tabs, chords, or guitar how-to’s, here. I guess that’s pretty obvious. Haha.

Anyway, I heard someone say that one good way of knowing your blog’s niche is to look at keyword referrals, so I did, and I found out interesting things about my blog that I wasn’t aware of. Apparently, I’ve been getting a lot of hits from that post I made about Michael Scofield back when he was still the love of my life (sorry Mike, not anymore, and no, I’m not drooling over your pictures and making them my desktop’s wallpaper. NO. I mean, really.)

Oh, and I’m getting hits not just from the keyword “Michael Scofield” but, more specifically, from the keyword phrase “Michael Scofield gay“. Much thanks to Joni, who just happened to have mentioned the word “gay” in her comment on that post. I still refuse to think that he’s gay though. But okay, that’s beside the point.

It took me a while before I finally got to sit down and finish the last two episodes of Prison Break Season 2, because I was busy, and because I was experiencing withdrawal syndrome (something about missing my Dad because we used to watch PB together when he was still alive, and now, he never got the chance to know whatever happened to Michael amd Linc). But okay, that’s beside the point too. Haha.

The point is, I was trying to define what my blog niche is, and coincidentally, just the other day, I finally finished watching Prison Break’s Season 2 finale. Hay. Season 3 coming right up.

IMHO, they should have ended it right there at Season 2’s ending — the three of them, Michael Scofield, Linc Burrows, and Sarah Tancredi, sailing away to sunset, happily ever after amen. You know, they could have just given Wentworth Miller’s character a much deserved rest. I mean, come on, they made him break rules and prisons all year round, it’s tiring! Seasons 1 and 2 alone already made Prison Break a classic. They should’ve ended it right there and then and prevent further damage (LOL). I mean, seriously, I can’t quite imagine how Michael is going to pull off another breakout and still be all human, without looking like some superhero with a cape.

Oh well, whatcanisay, the business is earning, I can’t blame them if they want to extend it some more. Season 3 has just begun, and I heard they’re already cooking Season 4 up.

Anyway, the real point is (haha), here’s more Michael Scofield keywords for this blog. Only because he’s bald and I now have a thing for bald guys, and because he’s given this site a relevant amount of traffic. That’s all.

I’m over you, Michael Scofield. Consider this my break-up speech. Good luck on breaking prisons. :P